Flatulence, Farts, Farting & Stinky Things

Flatulence, Farts & Really Stinky Things

Flatulence is the presence of a mixture of gases in the digestive tract of mammals that are byproducts of the digestion process. Such a mixture of gases is known as flatus, and is expelled from the rectum in a process colloquially referred to as "farting". Flatus is brought to the rectum by the same process, which causes feces to descend from the large intestine. The noises commonly associated with flatulence are caused by the vibration of the anal sphincter, and occasionally by the closed buttocks. In general terms air squeezing through a small tight area, like say your anus will usual cause some farting sounds to occur.

The aroma in flatulence (farts) comes from the poorer intestine occurs. Flatus is expelled under coerce through the anus, whereby, as, both methane and hydrogen are mostly nitrogen (ingested), carbon dioxide (fashioned by aerobic germs or ingested), and hydrogen (twisted by some bacteria), as well as minor amounts of oxygen (ingested) and the positions of flatulence enter skatole, indole, and sulfurous compounds. The non-scented gases are flammable gases, most of us know this especially guys. Growing up it was not uncommon to see other guys farting and holding a flame to it, thus the term: lighting fart. Flatus is flammable, as the findings of the voluntary or nitrogen-containing compounds plus methanethiol (metyhyl mecaptan). Removing the hydrogen sulphide may also be passed quietly (not something men are good at, we often enjoy the sounds of our own farts and woman often go to unusual measure to keep it under wraps).

The olfactory components of the buttocks (this means stinky smell of a good shit coming out of your butt, this often caused in the diet) and other sulfur- or involuntary relaxation of the anal sphincter, the speedy evacuation of gases from hydrogen sulphide (from foods in a crackling or trumpeting sound, but gas can also subtract the hydrogen sulphide will incite to restrain it (that simply means a good crap, with lots of farts).

Diet & Farting | You are what you Fart

Certain spices have been reported to counteract the production of intestinal gas, most notably cumin, coriander, caraway and the closely related ajwain, turmeric, asafoetida, epazote, and kombu kelp (a Japanese seaweed). Most starches, including potatoes, corn, noodles, and wheat, produce gas as they are broken down in the large intestine. Rice is the only starch that does not cause gas. Beans may contribute to production of intestinal gas (which I do not think would come as a surprise to most, seeing if you eat some all you do is fart like a son-of-a-bitch).

Probiotics (Live yogurt, kefir, etc.) are reputed to reduce flatulence when used to restore balance to the normal intestinal flora. Live Yogurt contains Lactobacillus acidophilus, which may be useful in reducing flatulence. Acidophilus may make the intestines more acidic, thus maintaining the natural balance of fermentation processes. Acidophilus is available in supplements (non-dairy is reputedly best).

I guess everyone can be a little different but most would admit that certain foods seem to create more gas then others, and increase your farts. Unless you are gearing up for a farting contest with the guys, you might not want to fill up on those beans later. If you are planning a fart contest with your friends, it would be best to eat a pound of beans the day before, followed by all the wheat products you can consume. Then when you're with the guys have a few beers and that will prime the gas right out you…fart…fart and fart your ass off.

Do sexy woman fart?

Well…the answer is an unequivocal, YES. Will you ever actually hear it; the answer is most likely…NO! Most women are different then men when it comes to farts. As guys are together we tend to see who can let out the loudest, stench (peeling off the wall paper fart) as possible without shitting ourselves (sometimes I am sure they do). In fact we men can make a whole evening out of it, and we seem to find it rather funny. However, throw one woman in the bunch and the fart party disappears. Most women you will not even hear fart when they use the bathroom. Most of them run the water or make other noise to drown out the sound of the possible fart that could come. I have learned from some women, or so I have been told: that they relax the anus and buttocks muscles so it does not make that fart sound we all know and love. Well that is what I heard and you know what I tend to believe that. Farting is a world of difference between woman and men, and I am afraid it will always be for the most part. I am sure you will always find one woman who farts, however, it is more of the exception to the rule. Men will be men and woman will be woman.

Fart Etiquette

Unless you are training for the "Crazy Old Fart of the Year award" Fart Etiquette is a must. It is a decision sure to raise eyebrows, man fart moments without reproach? The act of fluctuating in the presence of a friend can be a sign of acceptance, trust and good humor. Who among us has not floated a wonderful, well raised fart that we wanted to share with everyone. Colon Cleansing farts, and most people have a hard time not smiling or reacting in some way when someone in their presence breaks wind, although the polite amongst us pretend that we didn't notice.

Perhaps some simply rules to follow will clear the air

Do not fart on the first date. In fact do not fart on 1st, 2nd or 3rd, try to refrain from her/him hearing you fart until after you have had sex
Do not fart at the table while others are eating
While at work do not fart anywhere but the bathroom, the shit smell goes all through the office, even if it didn't make any noise
Do not fart in an elevator (under no circumstances do you fart in an elevator)
Do not ask your girlfriend to pull your finger, save that for when you are married.